Leatherface

From "TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE" (1974).

If Ghosty is the aspirational kin, maybe this is the more realistic one. I especially like the movies where the family has a strong bond with each other.

Leatherface is less of a 'husband' type slasher and more of a 'I wish he was my baby son so I could raise him right' type of slasher.

Gets my maternal instincts going. Please do not psychoanalyze
me on this. It's normal.

Ghostface

From "SCREAM" (1996).

The most "he's just like me" type guy on this list. I think, anyway.

Perhaps it's a more aspirational type of kinning. Ghostface somehow manages to be cool despite constantly getting owned. Plus he's a horror otaku.

The homoerotic tension between Billy and Stu is also something many horror fujos yearn for.

Though, I think I'm more of a Ghostface x Sidney shipper.

Michael Myers

From "HALLOWEEN" (1978).

This one's popular with the slasher girlies. He is pretty cool, but not as cool as Jason, if you ask me.

To somebody who's not a slasher aficionado, they might seem identical, but their personalities are clearly different. Mikey's kills tend to be more sadistic. A total freak.

To a yumejoshi, that's obviously a bonus. I really like his obsession with Laurie, so that's my preferred Halloween timeline...

Harry Warden

From "MY BLOODY VALENTINE" (1981).

Harry's got it all... He's a working man who can provide for you, plus he's a hopeless romantic. Who wouldn't want to receive an actual human heart on Valentine's Day? The dedication is admirable.

I thought the 2009 remake was total trash, but after rewatching it I found it had some very good kills in it. I may or may not have rewatched the one with the bed frame a couple of times in a row.

The Prowler

From "THE PROWLER" (1981).

Underrated film. Being in the military is kind of cringe, but it's alright since it's just a movie.

I will admit this one is kind of a thirst pick. It's maybe not the world's most exciting film, but the few standout kills make it a 10/10 classic in my heart.

The scene where Sherry's boyfriend gets a bayonet through his skull is the most erotic thing I've seen in my life. The way his eyes roll up!

Dr. Phibes

From "THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES" (1971).

I'm sorry Phibes, you are here as a placeholder due to recency bias. Would 100% still smash though.

Has a sense of aesthetics and drama. Endlessly devoted to his lost love. Very divorced man.

I do prefer his look with the face removed, the one that's in the poster. I wish you got to see more of it in the film!!! Please!!!! I wish I was his dead wife!

Billy

From "BLACK CHRISTMAS" (1974).

I would say this is my biggest 'hear me out' on this list, but I suppose I don't know my readers' standards.

I need to choose my words very carefully here. Harassing women
on the phone is really bad, okay? However,
(the following excerpt
intentionally left blank)

Maybe it's how completely unhinged he comes across, and the sense of mystery. I just gotta know what's up with him. You know?

Gabriel

From "MALIGNANT" (2021).

I was so happy watching this movie in the theater, I almost cried a little bit. Gabriel's so dramatic it flips around from being lame to being cool again.

The way he scurries around is great, and I love his stupid trenchcoat and the fancy dagger.
I think I'm just a sucker for theatrical stuff like that.

It's a cool deal for bisexuals
since you get a boyfriend and
a girlfriend at the same time.